I’m nailing it in joint first position.
After confounding fans expectations of an early, bloody body count, the final countdown is now on and the plot armour is off. Not everybody is going to be able to look Death in the eye and say “not today”. All men must die but let’s take a moment to remember the brave souls who have already headed into the long night:
Jorah – Ser Friendzone had a good death defending his beloved Khaleesi (deep gravelly voice) which sure beats crumbling to bits with a bad case of Greyscale.
Theon – anyone who’s been paying attention would have seen Theon’s journey of redemption had only one destination. Poor old Theon – he lost his bravado, his birthright and his bratwurst but came back swinging to defend our favourite wheelchair weirdo.
Beric Dondarrion – you can't keep a good man down but Beric Dondarrion finally succumbed protecting Arya. On a side note, actor Richard Dormer seems to have cornered the market for resurrected nutjobs (see Fortitude).
Lyanna – all hail Lyanna Mormont, the pocket sized badass of Bear Island. Lyanna was only ever meant to appear in one scene but she won the directors and fans hearts and went out in style. RIP Lyanna the Giant Killer.
Melisandre – I know she’s not everybody’s cup of tea but even when burning small children or birthing shadow monsters I believe she really thought she was doing the right thing. A big fan of statement jewellery and a huge asset at a BBQ.
Missandei – well we all knew the burgeoning MissanWorm romance was doomed. One or both parties were bound to peg it as soon as they embarked on an ill-fated discussion of plans “after the war”.
Rhaegal – well this was a bit of shocker and frankly disappointing. We’ve seen this fearsome beast take out whole legions so being shot out of the sky by a man who looked like he got kicked out of a band 30 years ago and has never got over it, is a sad ending. A more cynical viewer might suspect David Benioff and D. B. Weiss needed a quick way to even up the game and ramp up the jeopardy for the final confrontation.
So Winter isn’t Coming (at least for the time being) and, if anything, things are definitely hotting up so pull on one of our GoT TShirts. We do not sew but we do print. All men must dye.